boysnightout

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Kasabihan nga ng mga matatanda
Genre: JOkejokejoke

1. Pag ang girlfriend mo PANGET: pwede na yan sa
McDo, Jollibee, o kaya
Chowking
Pag MAGANDA: dapat sa Friday's, Cravings, o kaya
sa Shang-ri La

2. Pag PANGET: ayaw mong lapitan pag naglalakad
kayo sa mall... as if u
were just friends
Pag MAGANDA: halos di mo na pakawalan habang
namamasyal.. may kasama pang
hugs at kisses once in a while

3. Pag PANGET: "Pahinga na lang tayo this weekend.
Tsaka may gimik kami
ng
friends ko e."
Pag MAGANDA: "Are u free this weekend? Gimik tayo
with my friends."

4. Pag PANGET: ok na kahit di ka masyadong
mag-dress up
Pag MAGANDA: kelangan japorms ka lagi

5. Pag PANGET: "wife material" ... in other words,
free katulong in the
future
Pag MAGANDA: "girlfriend material"... prinsesa in
short

6. Pag PANGET: pag nagseselos sya, di ka nya
pwedeng tarayan
Pag MAGANDA: pag nagseselos sya, ok lang na
tarayan ka nya
7. Pag PANGET: lambingin mo lang for the first few
months, mapagsasawaan
mo
agad
Pag MAGANDA: "I can't get enough of you, girl!"

8. Pag PANGET: treat her like she's one of the
boys
Pag MAGANDA: treat her like she's the most
beautiful girl u'll ever love

9. Pag PANGET: "ay, u'r sick? sige, i'll just call
again later."
Pag MAGANDA: "ay, u'r sick, honey? sige, i'll just
visit u later, ha?"

10. Pag PANGET: di mo malimutan yung pretty ex mo
("she was everyone's
crush y'know")
Pag MAGANDA: kalimutan mo na yung pretty ex mo, u
got someone better now

11. Pag PANGET: wala kang ka-agaw
Pag MAGANDA: lahat ka-agaw mo, so u have to be
extra sweet to her

12. Pag PANGET: pwede mong iwanan kung saan-saan
(in short, convenient)
Pag MAGANDA: dapat bantayan mo kahit saan

13. Pag PANGET: sa public places...ok lang, andyan
lang sya.... duh...
Pag MAGANDA: "ehem, hey, guys, she's my
girlfrie nd, y'know. pretty no?"
sabay a kbay

14. Pag PANGET: when asked y u chose her....
"pare, i love her
bcoz she's really nice and she'll do everything
for me"
Pag MAGANDA: "pare, do i have to answer ur
question? it's obvious naman
na,
pare e"

15. Pag PANGET: pag na-a-attract ka sa iba... "Bat
ka ba masyadong
selosa?
I was just looking!"
Pag MAGANDA: "Hey baby, don't be jealous na. U'r
prettier naman e."

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 9:06 PM

~*EvA!*~50 natural highs
Genre: Soothing Wisdom
Source: Emails
Remarks: Enjoy! helps to remind that
the most beautiful things in life are the simplest!

> Please make sure you forward this back to me --
> you'll
> see why at the end! Think about them one at a time
> BEFORE going on to the next one.........IT DOES MAKE
> YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
>
> 1. Falling in love.
> 2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
>
> 3. A hot shower.
>
> 4. No lines at the supermarket
>
> 5. A special glance.
>
> 6. Getting mail
> 7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
> 8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
>
> 9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
>
>
> 10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
>
> 11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half
> price.
>
> 12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or
> strawberry)
>
>
> 13. A long distance phone call.
>
> 14. A bubble bath.
>
> 15. Giggling.
>
> 16. A good conversation.
>
> 17 The beach
>
> 18. Finding a 20 note in your coat from last winter.
>
>
> 19. Laughing at yourself.
>
> 20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
>
> 21. Running through sprinklers.
>
> 22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
>
> 23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
>
> 24. Laughing at an inside joke.
>
> 25. Friends.
>
> 26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something
> nice about you.
>
> 27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few
> hours
> left to sleep.
>
> 28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a
> new partner).
>
> 29. Making new friends or spending time with old
> ones.
>
>
> 30. Playing with a new puppy.
>
> 31. Having someone play with your hair.
>
> 32. Sweet dreams.
>
> 33. Hot chocolate.
>
> 34. Road trips with friends.
>
> 35. Swinging on swings.
>
> 36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while
> eating cookies and
> drinking your favorite tipple.
>
> 37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you
> can
> sing along without
> feeling stupid.
>
> 38. Going to a really good concert.
>
> 39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger
>
> 40. Winning a really competitive game.
>
> 41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
>
> 42. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
>
> 43. Spending time with close friends.
>
> 44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your
> friends.
>
> 45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
>
> 46. Running into an old friend and realizing that
> some
> things (good or bad) never change
>
> 47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
>
> 48. Watching the expression on someone's face as
> they
> open a much desired present from you.
>
> 49. Watching the sunrise.
>
> 50. Getting out of bed every morning and being
> grateful for another beautiful day.

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 12:18 AM

Only in the Philippines...
Genre: JOkeJOkeJoke
Source: Emails

* Nakasulat sa pader:
"MARUNONG KA BANG TUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMIIHI DITO!"

* along a highway in Pampanga:
"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"

* in a Baguio grocery:
"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"

* in Cubao:
"NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY"

* on a parking lot:
"TAXI AND OUTSIDE CAR NOT ALLOWED"

* along Luneta Boulevard:
"BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD"

* on Jeepney and Bus signs:
"BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"

* on a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue:
"WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS"

* on a delivery truck:
"NOT FOR HERE"
* on window of a restaurant in Baguio:
"WANTED: BOY WAITRESS"

* A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a
university:
"PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN."
* At a men's comfort room, above a urinal:
"HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN"

* at a construction site in Mandaluyong:
"BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG"

* somewhere along San Andres:
"NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS"

* vacant lot near makati ave.:
"DON'T PARKING"

* at an eatery in Cebu:
"WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!

and this is the best of them all!!

* on a building somewhere in the Philippines...
"NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO"

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 12:17 AM

MAHIRAP LAHAT
Genre: School Blues
Source: Email

Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.

WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?
If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go go La Salle.
If you have no money, go to PUP.

QUESTION AND ANSWER
Q: How do La Sallites count to ten?
A: One, two, three, another, another, and another.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ONE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
In a grand ballroom party conducted by the Philippine Society of
Colleges and Universities, the Chairman of the Board got curious to
know what
particular schools attended the big celebration. Therefore, he
checked out
the house where it was all happening. Guess whom he found and where
he
found them?

UP Diliman - everybody was lined up to the attic to have a fraternity
ritual

UP Manila - they were into "drugs"

UP Los Banos - they were in the garden mowing the lawn

Ateneo - they were inside the TV room with a microphone chanting the
"BLUE EAGLE" spelling

La Salle - they were eavesdropping

Benilde - they were next in line in eavesdropping

San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans while others were in the
bedroom with some Paulinians

St. Paul - they thought they were with the Ateneans

La Consolacion - they wanted to be the Paulinians

Holy Spirit - they want the Paulinians

Miriam - they were beside the room of the Ateneans . . .like always

Assumption - they were inside the bathroom three hours already since
arriving

St. Scholastica - they were next in line for the bathroom

CEU - some were doing the dishes while others were busy with the
laundry

St. Louis - they were in front of the air conditioner!

UE - they don't know what's an air conditioner

UST - they were everywhere

FEU - they were nowhere

MLQU - sob! They were not invited

San Sebastian - How the hell did they pass by security?

Letran - the Security

Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the roof

TIP - they were the ones who created the leak

NU - they were outside the house selling cigarettes

JRC - they were the ones buying

Adamson - went to Luneta instead

Sta. Isabel - they were Adamson's dates

CRC - what the hell is this party for?

PSBA - what the hell is CRC?

NCBA - what the hell is PSBA?

AMA - they were parading with Jolina posters

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 12:15 AM

Monday, October 20, 2003

Corporate Lessons
Genre: JokeJokeJoke
Source: Leslie
Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says "I'll give you 800 dollars to drop that
towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds Bob
hands her 800 dollars and leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up
in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the
bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the
next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 dollars
he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position
to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A young priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road,
he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The
priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and
immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129."

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself
to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her
leg.
Further on, while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129." Once again the
priest apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak." Arriving at
the convent, the nun got out, gave him meaningful glance and went on
her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a
Bible and looked up Psalm 129.

It said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: Always be well informed in your job, or you may
miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three
wishes, so I'll give each of you one each."

"Me first! Me first !" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!!! She's
gone. In astonishment, "Me next ! Me next !" says the sales rep.

"I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof!!
He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:55 PM

Doctor Doctor
Genre: Joke Joke Joke
Source: Email
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have
>this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much.
>My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,I've
>farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You
didn't
>know I
>was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
>The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me
>next week."
>
>The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know
>what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still
silent...stink
>terribly."
>The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses,
let's work
>on your hearing."

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:49 PM

Three Things and ... Failure
Genre: Some Thoughts
source: Email

Three things of life once gone never comes back-
Time, words & opportunity

Three things of life must not be lost -
Peace, hope & honesty.

Three things of life are most valuable -
Love, self-confidence & friends

Three things of life are never sure -
Dreams, success & fortune

Three things make a Man/Woman -
Hard work, sincerity & success

Three things of life that destroy a Man/Woman -
Wine, pride & anger

FAILURE

Failure doesn't mean - You are a failure,
It means - You have not succeeded.

Failure doesn't mean - You accomplished nothing,
It means - You have learned something.

Failure doesn't mean - That you have been a fool,
It means - You had a lot of faith.

Failure doesn't mean - You've been disgraced,
It means - You were willing to try.

Failure doesn't mean - You don't have it,
It means - You have to do some thing in a different
way.

Failure doesn't mean - You are inferior.
It means -You are not perfect.

Failure doesn't mean - You've wasted your life,
It means - You have a reason to start afresh.

Failure doesn't mean - You should give up,
It means - You must try harder.

Failure doesn't mean -You'll never make it.,
It means - It will take a little longer.

Failure doesn't mean - God has abandoned you,
It means - God has a better way for you.

SUN RISE

Every morning in Africa,When the Sun rises, A deer
awakens, Knowing it has to outrun the fastest Lion,
OR,
be hunted to death....

Every morning in Africa, When the Sun rises, A Lion
awakens, Knowing it has to outrun the slowest deer,
OR,
be starved to death....

It does not matter whether you are a deer or Lion,
When the Sun rises, better be running at your best..

You only live once.
What do you really want to do and achieve in life?
Let's think, learn & share.

It is a meaningful journey.

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:45 PM

-*-*-*ToTaL SiGnS oF fLiRtInG*-*-*-
Genre: "Fun" Stuff
SourcE: Email
*~*Guys*~*
1 She makes eye contact and smiles at you.
2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.
3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.
4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.
5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her
face.
6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly
interested.
7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost
always next to you.
8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.
9. You catch her staring at you.
10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.
11. Her friends outside of s! chool and in school know about you, and says
she talks about you a lot.
12. She knows your phone number and address.
13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible
*~*Girls*~*
1. He stares at you alot.
2. He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )
3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion
with you
4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.
5. He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cuz you couldn't
get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.
6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
7. His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk.
8. You hung up on him. He called you back.
9. You where invited by him to a group outing.
10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.
11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you
laugh even harder.
12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.
13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.
14. He finds every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, butt, thighs,
etc.)
Now make a wish...
Okay, stop!
Your wish will come true if you pass this on!
Send this to 0 people and you will never get asked out... EVER!!!!
Send this to 5 people and your wish will come true in 5 days.
Send this to 10 people and your wish will come true in 3 days.
Send this to 15 people and your wish will come true in 1 day
posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:38 PM

Passionate Race....
Genre: Sad stuff
Source: Email

And some people call some of them "retarded"...

A few years back, at the Seattle Special Olympics,
nine contestants, all physically or mentally challenged,
assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.

At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash,
but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win.

All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt,
tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry.

The other eight heard the boy cry.

They slowed down and looked back.

Then they all turned around and went back... every one of them.

One little girl with Down's syndrome
bent down and kissed him and said,
"This will make it better."

Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.

Everyone in the stadium stood,
and the cheering went on for several minutes.

People who were there are still telling the story. Why?

Because deep down we know this one thing:
What matters in this life is more
than winning for ourselves.

What matters in this life is helping others win,
even if it means slowing down and changing our course.

If you pass this on, we may be able to change
our hearts as well as someone else's...

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle".

So what are ya gonna do? Pass it on or delete it...?

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:34 PM

TOMATO STORY
Genre: JokeJokeJOke
Source: IpayPims
> >
> > An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife
> > watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high
> > school
> > to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor's job at
> > Microsoft and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager
> > tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me
> > have
> > your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will
> > automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start
> > and where to report on your first day."
> >
> > Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a
> > computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies,"You must
> > understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do
> > not exist.
> > Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a
> > high-tech
> > firm. Good day."
> >
> > Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in
> > his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling
> > 25lb crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a
> > busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all
> > the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times
> > more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night
> > with several bags of groceries for his family.
> >
> > During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next
> > day.By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working
> > into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second
> > week
> > he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time,
> > but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup
> > truck.
> >
> > At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have
> > left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his
> > wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at
> > the
> > community college so she can keep books for him. By the end of the second
> > year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously
> > unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard. Time
> > passes
> > and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a
> > warehouse which his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys
> > manage.The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and
> > jobless
> > people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed a million
> > dollars.
> >
> > Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.
> > Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit
> > his new
> > circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in
> > order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies
> > that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail
> > address,
> > the insurance man is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail? No
> > computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had
> > all of
> > that five years ago!"
> >
> > "Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be
> > sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.15 an hour." Which
> > brings us to the moral:
> >
> > ..........................................................................
> > .
> > ..................................................
> >
> > Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being
> > a janitor than a millionaire.
> >
> > :-) maayo pa mananum nalang ta ug kamatis ani hehe
posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:31 PM

"First Grader"
Genre: Joke Joke Joke
Source: Leslie

> >
> >A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her
> >students.
> >
> >The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"
> >
> >Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
> >third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
> >third-grade too!"
> >
> >Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While
> >Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal
> >what the situation was.
> >
> >The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he
> >failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
> >first-grade and behave. She agreed.
> >
> >Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
> >agreed to take the test.
> >
> >Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
> >
> >Harry: "9".
> >
> >Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
> >
> >Harry: "36".
> >
> >And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
> >should know.
> >
> >The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to
> >the third-grade."
> >
> >Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
> >
> >The principal and Harry both agree. Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow
> >have four of that I have only two of? "Harry, after a moment "Legs."
> >
> >Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
> >
> >Harry: "Pockets."
> >
> >Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
> >
> >Harry: "Pants"
> >
> >Ms Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
> >delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
> >
> >Harry: Coconut
> >
> >Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
> >
> >The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
> >answer, Harry was taking charge.
> >
> >Harry: Bubblegum
> >
> >Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
> >dog do on three legs?
> >
> >The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
> >answer.
> >
> >Harry: Shake hands
> >
> >Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
> >
> >Harry: Yep.
> >
> >Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
> >I get wet before you do.
> >
> >Harry: Tent
> >
> >Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
> >The best man always has me first.
> >
> >The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
> >
> >Harry: Wedding Ring
> >
> >Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
> >blow me, you feel good.
> >
> >Harry: Nose
> >
> >Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
> >quiver.
> >
> >Harry: Arrow
> >
> >Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot
> >of heat and excitement?
> >
> >Harry: Firetruck
> >
> >The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry
> >in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:29 PM

Explanation of Marketing Terms
Genre: DocuStuff, JokeJOkeJOke
source: Email (taken from Boo Chanco's column)

Several women I know have asked me for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Representative.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" That's Spam.

"True friends are those that are capable of caring from a distance, far enough to make other people grow, but never to far to forget the friendship in their hearts ."

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:23 PM

Medical claims
Genre: JOkeJokejoke
Source: Ta Gaga

> It's quite funny ! :)
> Read on..............
>
> A couple, both 50, went to a sex therapist's office.
> The doctor asked, "What can I do for you? "
> The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
> The doctor was puzzled, but agreed. The doctor examined them and
then
>instructed them to proceed.
> When the couple finished, the doctor re-examined them and
> advised the couple,"There's nothing wrong with the way that you're
>doing it."
> He then charged them $32.
>
> This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an
>appointment, have intercourse with no apparent
> problems other than the lack of vigour which is to be expected in
50
>year olds, get dressed, pay the doctor and then leave.
>
> Finally after almost three months of this routine, the doctor asked
>"Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
> The old man said, "Oh, we're not trying to find out anything.
> She's married and we can't go to her house.
> I'm married, so we can't go to my house.
> The Holiday Inn charges $160; the Hilton charges $180.
>
> We do it here for $32 and I can get $28 back from my company
co-payment
>medical reimbursement."

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:14 PM

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Die for Love

Genre: Love, Chain
Source: Leslie Lao

Die for Love

>

> I sit in the park where I dwell,

>

> For this boy I love so well.

>

> He took my heart away from me,

>

> Now he wants to set me free.

>

> I see a girl on his lap,

>

> He says things to her he never said to me.

>

> I ran home to cry on my bed,

>

> Not a word to mother was said.

>

> Father came home late that night,

>

> He looked at me from left to right.

>

> He saw me hanging from a rope,

>

> He took his knife to cut me down.

>

> And on my dress a note was found:

>

> Dig my grave, Dig it deep.

>

> Dig my grave, From head to feet.

>

> And on the top place a dove.

>

> And remember this, I died for love...

>

> (¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨)

>

> `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨).¸.·´

>

> `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)·.¸.·´

>

>Something good will happen to you tonight at 9:22 PM.

>

>This is not a joke. Someone will either call you

>

>or will talk to you online and say that they love you.

>

>Do not break this chain.

>

>Send this to 13 people in the next 15 minutes..

>

Good luck with the one you love

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:10 PM

Die for Love

Ang kaibigan ni Andoy (Friend of Andoy)
Genre: A very touching story
Source: Leslie Lao

Dear Friends,
> This is a very touching true story.
> Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, there lived a fourth grader
> boy who
> would follow this route to school everyday:
> He has to cross the rugged plains and cross the dangerous highway
> where
> vehicles are recklessly driving through. Once past this highway, the boy
> would take a short cut by passing by the Church every morning just to say
> Hi to God, and faithfully say his, "Magandang umaga po" in the Bicol
> dialect. He was faithfully being watched by a Priest who was happy to
> find innocence so uplifting in the morning.
> "Kamusta Andoy! Papasok ka na?"
> "Opo padre ... " he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be
> touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to Andoy.
> "From school...", he advised "Do not cross the highway, you can pass
> through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of the road
> ... that way I can see that you are home safe...."
> "Thank you father..."
> "Why don't you go home ... do you stay in this church right after school?"
> "I just want to say "Hi" to my friend, God," and the priest would leave
> the boy to spend time beside the altar, talking by himself, but he was
> hiding behind the altar to listen to what this boy has to say to his
> heavenly FATHER.
> "You know my math exam was pretty bad today, but I did not cheat although
> my seatmate is bullying me for notes... I ate one cracker and drank my
> water, Itay had a bad season and all I can eat is this cracker. Thank you
> for this! I saw a poor kitten who was hungry and I know how he feels so I
> gave my last cracker to him ... funny but I am not that hungry ... Look,
> this is my last pair of slippers ... I may have to walk barefooted next
> week you see this is about to be broken ... but it is okay ...at least I
> am still going to school.... some say we will have a hard season this
> month, some of my classmates have already stopped going to school ...
> please help them get to school again, please God? ... Oh, you know, Inay
> had hit me again, it is painful, but I know this pain will go away; at
> least I still have a mother.... God, you want to see my bruises? I know
> you can heal them ... here... here and ... oh ...blood... guess you knew
> about this one huh? Please don't be mad at Inay, she is just tired and she
> worries for the food to put on our table and my schooling that is why she
> hits us... Oh, I think I am in love ... there's this pretty girl in my
> class, her name is Anita .. do you think she will like me? Anyway, at
> least I know you will always like me, I don't have to be anybody just to
> please you, and you are my very best friend! Hey your birthday is two days
> from now!!! Aren't you excited? I am! Wait till you see, I have a gift for
> you ... but it is a surprise! I hope you will like it! Oops, I have to
> go..." then he stood up and calls out, "Padre, padre, I am finished
> talking to my friend ... you can accompany me to the other side of the
> road now"
> This routine happens everyday. Andoy never fails. Father Agaton
> shares this
> every Sunday to the people in his church because he has not seen a very
> pure
> faith and trust in God, a very positive look at negative situations.
> One Christmas day, Father Agaton was sick so he could not make it
> in the
> Church, he was sent to the hospital. The Church was left to four manangs
> who would chant the rosary in 1000 miles per hour, would not smile and
> would always find fault in what you do, they are also very well versed in
> cursing if you irritate them!
> They were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary when Andoy,
> coming from
> his Christmas party, playfully dashed in.
> "Hello God!"
> "P----!! (a curse) bata ka!! Alam mo nang may nagdadasal!! Alis!!"
> Poor Andoy was so terrified, "Where's Father Agaton? He is supposed to
> help me cross the street ... And to be able to cross the street I will
> have to pass by the back door of this church ...not only that, I have to
> greet Jesus. It is His birthday, I have a gift right here...."
> Just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, the manang pulled
> his shirt and threw him out of the church.
> "Susmaryosep!!! (does a sign of the cross fervently) Alis kang bata ka,
> kung hindi matatamaan ka!!!
> So the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the
> road in
> front of the church. He crossed. A fast moving bus came in. There was a
> blind curve. The boy was protecting his gift inside his shirt, so he was
> not looking. There was so little time.
> Andoy died on the spot. A lot of people crowded around the poor
> boy, the
> body of a lifeless young boy ... Suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man in
> pure white shirt and pants, a face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full
> of tears...He came and carried the boy in His arms. He was crying.
> Curious bystanders nudged the man in white, and asked, "Excuse me sir, are
> you related to this child? Do you know this child?"
> The man in white, His face mourning and in agony, lifted up and answered,
> "He was my best friend ... " was all he said. He took the badly wrapped
> gift in the bloody chest of the lifeless boy, and placed it near His
> heart. He stood up and carried the boy away and they both disappeared from
> sight.
> The crowd was curious ...
> On Christmas Eve, Father Agaton learned of the shocking news. He visited
> the house, and wanted to verify what he heard about the man in white. He
> consulted the parents of Andoy. "How did you know
> that your son died?"
> "A man in white brought him here." sobbed the mother.
> "What did he say?"
> The father answered, "He did not say anything. He was mourning. We did not
> know him and yet he was very lonely at our son's death, as if he knew our
> son very well. But there was something peaceful and unexplainable about
> him. He gave me my son, and then he smiled peacefully. He rubbed my son's
> hair away from his face and kissed him on his forehead, then he whispered
> something..."
> "What did he say?"
> He said to my boy..." the father began, "Thank you for the gift ... I
> will see you soon ... you will be with me..." and the father of the boy
> continued, "and you know for a while, it felt so wonderful ... I cried,
> but I do not know why.... all I know is I cried tears of joy ... I could
> not explain it, Father, but when that man left, something peaceful came
> over me, I felt a deep sense of love inside ... I could not explain the
> joy in my heart, I knew my boy is in heaven now but ... tell me, Father,
> who is This man that my son talks to everyday in your church, you should
> know because you are always there ... except on the day of his death ..."
> Father Agaton suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with trembling
> knees, he murmured, " ... He was talking to no one .... but ... GOD..."
> =============================
> If you were touched by this story, please pass this on to your friends,
> I just did!
posted by Mr. Grandiers at 11:08 PM

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Computer Problem?
Genre: InfoStuff, Something Stupid
Source: Leslie
Remarks: The next time you feel like you have done something stupid on your
computer, pull these out and realize that we definitely have different
levels of "STUPID" when it comes to technology. Anyone among you who
believes you are technologically challenged, you "aint seen nothing yet."
This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her Mouse was hard
to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic
bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with
photocopies of the floppies.

4. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled Floppy back
in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on
and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to
close the door to his room.

5.Another Dell customer called to say he couldnt get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

6. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water
and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing
them individually.

7. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech
explained that the computers "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldnt be taken personally.

8.A conf used caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldnt find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but
said that his computer still couldnt "see" the printer."

9. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in,
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computers mouse.

10.Another customer called Compaq Tech Support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power
switch?"

11. Another IBM customer had trou bles installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the
second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in
the third disk, I couldnt even fit it in ....
" The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1
first.

12. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for
installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its
cover and insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the
plastic casing from the disk and wondered why there were problems.

13. True story from a Novell NetWire Sysop:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "Im sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, its attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, its because I am. Did
you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get
this cup holder?
Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I dont know anything about a
promotional. It just has 4X on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldnt
stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load
drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

And just when you thought it couldnt get any better heres two more:

14. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his
printer is working fine."

15. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, lets press the control a nd escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager
Customer: "I dont have a P. "
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "P on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "Im not going to do that!"

"True friends are those that are capable of caring from a distance, far enough to make other people grow, but never to far to forget the friendship in their hearts ."

Benefits of sex!!!!!!!!!!!
Genre: InfoStuff, JokeJokeJoke
Source: Leslie
Remarks: You've gotta read this. It's hilarious!
Be sure to read the warning at the bottom.

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair
shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and
makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with
a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in Palaiseau. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four
days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on. If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall
off.

This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex(who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96! hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days. Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious. GOOD SEX, but please remember: 10 copies of this message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours or you will not have good sex again for the rest of your life!!!!

WHEN SOMETHING DOES NOT GO YOUR WAY...
Genre: Something Good
Source: Leslie Lao

One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a
building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read:

"I am blind, please help".

A creative publicist was walking by him and stopped to
observe. He only had a few coins in his hat. He dropped
a few more coins in his hat and without asking for his
permission, took the sign, turned it around, and
wrote another announcement. He placed the sign by his
feet and left.

That afternoon the creative publicist returned by the
blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins.

The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it
was him who had re-written his sign and he wanted to know
what did he write on it? The publicist responded:
"Nothing that was not true, I just rewrote your
sign differently".

He smiled and went on his way. The blind man never knew
but his new sign read:

"TODAY IS SPRING AND I CANNOT SEE IT".

Change your strategy when something does not go your way
and you'll see it will probably be for the best. Have faith
that every change is best for our lives.

__________________________________

We need God's guidance from above,
His daily direction and constant love;
We surrender to Him what's best for us,
Each human course He changes, we trust.
__________________________________

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 12:59 AM

Monday, October 13, 2003

INteresting lessons to learn
Genre: JokeJokeJoke
Source: Ella

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the
>CEO
>standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his
>hand.
>"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important
>document,
>and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
>
>"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
>inserted
>the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said
>the
>CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
>"I just need one copy."
>
>Lesson learnt: - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
>
>****************************************************************
>A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window:
>
>"I want to open a damn checking account."
>To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir;
>I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
>
>"Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right
>now!"
>"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language
>in this bank."
>
>Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the
>bank
>manager to tell him about her problem customer.
>
>They both return and the manager asks the old geezer:
>
>"What seems to be the problem here?"
>"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won
>50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn
>checking account in this damn bank!"
>
>"I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this
>bitch
>here is giving you a hard time?"
>
>Lesson Learnt - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
>
>*************************************************************
>An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA
>when
>the American turned to the Japanese and asked,
>"What kind of -ese are you?"
>The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what
>you mean."
>
>The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
>Again, the Japanese was confused over the question.
>The American, now irritated, then yell, "What kind of -ese are you..
>Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc......"
>
>The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
>A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind
>of
>'-key' was he.
>The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key'
>am
>I ?!"
>
>The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee?"
>
>Lesson : Never insult anyone.
>
>**************************************************************
>There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
>French, who found this small genie bottle.
>When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears.
>
>Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said,
>"Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of
>you a wish.
>
>When you run towards the pool and jump, you
>shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your
>wish will come true."
>
>The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
>shouted "WINE".
>The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was
>so
>happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
>
>Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
>immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
>
>The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
>He was so contented with his beer pool.
>
>The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when
>suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
>shouted,
>"SHIT!!!!!!!........."
>
>Lesson: Think twice before you say something, b'cos sometimes
> accidents do happen.
posted by Mr. Grandiers at 10:15 PM

The Cellphone

Genre: Love
Source: ....I forget where I got it basta sa email ko na!

part 1 My cellphone's beeping sound woke me up one night.
Used to receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and
sleepily
pushed
the keys and read the message.

"Hi there! Care 2 b my txtmate?" Not knowing who the sender was, I
deleted
the
message right away and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to
go
back
to sleep.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone again.
"Hi there, again! Care 2 b my txtmate?" again, the message said.
"Who the hell could this be asking for a txtmate at the wee hours of
the
night?"
I asked myself. Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the
message.

I was never a 'textmaniac' - someone who enjoys texting anyone
andeveryone
even
at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the day. My parents,
who
were
always out of the country forced me to own a cellphone. They told
me that having one was more convenient - they could monitor me even if
they're
miles away.

I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of calling
meat
night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided not to.

Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamlesssleep, the
phone
beeped
again.

Same number...Such determination!
"Pls reply 2 dis msg & b an angel & save me frm dis abyss of
emptiness!!!" I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and
pushed
the keys...
I just realized I was replying to the message.

"Im not an angel, n f u want som1 2 save u, m not superman... I'm just
a
simple
prson who u wake up at dis r of my nyt!!! Nway, do I know u?" I typed.

Seconds later came the reply.
"Nope. U don't know dis lonely soul. Nor does she know u. But I want 2
bur
frnd.
I'm Mikaella Cervantes. U?"

"Just call me Julius. How'd u get my no.?" I sent back.

"Hi Julius, nice 2 meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits ofmine,"
she replied.
That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the
cellphone.
We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that night.
We
only
said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00 AM! I had to preparefor
school!

And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without
itloving
and
thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had learned to
appreciate
text
messages and become eager and excited everytime my phone beeped, hoping
it
would
be her.

Mikaella brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I
realized
I
could also be a romantic person... even if it's just through text
messaging.

"Keep me as a frnd & I will keep u in my heart. Lock it up & throw
away d key so dat no1 can evr tke u away from me..." One day, she sent
this
message
to me.

I replied: 'In life, we seldom find a true prson & f u evr find 1,
hold on & nvr let go... value dat prson coz it's lyf's gift worth
keeping &
holdin on..."

I never knew why, but her response sent shivers to my spine, " Value d
pipol
hu
hav touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen dey will walk out
of ur
lyf
& nvr come back again."

I couldn't understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was sure
though... I could not go on a day without a single word from her. I'd
become
used to having her, eventhough we had not met personally. But truly,
she
already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in my life.

I texted her back. "Dont come close f l8r ull jst pass by; don't touch
me f
l8r
ull jst let me cry; dont luv me f l8r ull jst leave me and won't
stay..."

I didn't know why I sent her that message, but somehow I felt, every
word
came from my heart. In the short span of time we were sending
messages to each other, I knew, I was starting to keep her in my heart.

I called her once. The voice on the other end was like an angel's.
Soft, kind, full of love. Yet, there was something in it I couldn't
define.
We only talked for a few minutes. Before she hung up, she told me not
to
call
again. According to her, it would be better if we would just text each
other.

But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart, I'd
long
to
hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but she never answered
the
phone.
She just kept on sending messages and quotations, which I copied in
a little notebook.

Hopeless romantic? I didn't know. All I could say was
that all the messages she sent me were wonderful, they came from the
heart
and
cut through the heart.

"Though we r miles apart, u r always n my heart. I close my eyes & der
u r.
Even f I'll see u never, I'll always b hir 2 care 4 u, far longer dan
4ever..." One December night, she sent me this message. By that time we
had
been
exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy I was.
She was right. Although we had not seen each other, what we felt was
enough
to
make us both realize what was keeping us together.

I sent her another message, "Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2
do,
hoping, wondring that u will feel d same way 2, but I can't read ur
mind f u
luv
me 2. But whatever it is, I'll still be loving u."

"How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2
love,
scared 2 get hurt... I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray dat u will not
get
tired
of loving me...=)" was her reply.

And then I replied again. " The reason y I met u is bcoz of destiny but
f
destiny will suggest dat I'll live w/o u, den, I'll lie not by destiny
but
of
free will."

Whenever I asked her when we would meet personally, she always
answered,
"Soon...soon, love...soon."

Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for
her...rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was
sure,she
felt
the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow through our lines,
between
our hearts, which made us go on each day with the thought that sooner,
we
would
see each other, face to face, heart to heart.

Just a few days before Christmas. She stopped sending messages. At
first I
just
though she had ran out of prepaid. but there was something that kept
bothering
me... I couldn't understand what was it, but it made me fell
nervous. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer. Nevertheless, I
continued
sending messages.

Suddenly one night, just three days before our Lord's birthday. I
heard my phone's message tone again... at last! It was from her!

"Oftentyms we say gudbye 2 d 1 we luv w/o wanting 2. Though dat doesn't
mean
dat
we stopped loving dem or we stopped 2 care. Sometyms, GOODBYE is a
painful
way 2
say I LOVE YOU."

I was dumfounded. I didn't know what to think of. What did she mean? I
texted
her back, searching for answers, but found nothing. I called her but
she
would
not answer.

For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable...desperate...
empty. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose her. I had
learned to
love her. And I wanted to be with her forever.

The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that
Mikaella took the life out of me. I missed her so much...her
messages...The
tones that would tell me she'd sent another loving message. Nothing
around
me
could feel the emptiness I felt.

Tut...tut...tut...tut...tut...just a day before Christmas, my cell
beeped again. It was her!

"Meet me at d cafe, 10 AM 2day," I read aloud, making sure the message
was
true,
then I jumped with joy upon hearing from her again. Hurriedly, I got
myself
ready and I went to the mall. I knew it was still early, but I wanted
to be
there before she arrived.

I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised to
see her already there, smiling at me. She was very beautiful, Black,
deep-set
eyes that spoke a thousand words; small,kissable lips; a nose
perfectly chiseled and long black hair - everything in her was
beautiful.
And
yes, her eyes radiated kindness and love...but there was a flicker of
something
in them...sadness?

"Hi, Julius," said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each
night. The voice that I had waited to hear for so long. "Please sit
down."

"I am very pleased to meet you, Mikaella," I said, as I took my seat
and
gave
the roses I brought for her.

"Thanks, Julius," she smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I knew
she
loved
pink roses.

"You are always welcome, Love"

"Julius, I can't stay," she said, sadness in her voice, or was it
tears? "I
really must go."

"But we just met, Mikaella. Can't we talk a little longer?" I asked,
pleadingly.
"I can't really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the
time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. I will never
forget
you...you will always be here in my heart." She was looking at me
straight
into
the eyes, and I could really feel the sadness in her voice and I swear,
there
was something in her voice and I swear, there was something in those
lovely
yet
lonely eyes...

She got up and smiled at me, lovingly. "Tomorrow morning, please come
and
visit
me," he said and gave me a piece of white linen paper.

I read what was written and when I looked up, she was gone.

The following day, Christmas, I woke up early and excitedly readied
myself,
thinking of her. I hurriedly went to a flower shop and bought a dozen
pink
roses
- for Mikaella.

They lived in an exclusive subdivision. Upon reaching their house, I
told
the
guard who I was and that I was looking for Mikaella.

The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told me
to
wait as
he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him while he was going
inside
the house, only then I noticed that the house was brightly lit.

A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.

"Hi, I'm Maria, Mikaella's mother. Please come inside, Julius." While
we
were
walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why she knew me very
well - Mikaella had always been talking about her friend, Julius. I
hardly understood what she was saying.

I was busy thinking why Mikaella's mother was crying while talking to
me. As
we
came near the great hall of thehouse,
it dawned on me that there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative passed
away,
I
thought. But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.

As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning
while
others
were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. "Where is Mikaella?"

She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin which was
surrounded by flowers - pink roses, nothing but pink roses.

No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and saw
who was
lying there. The same beautiful girl I met...

A man came beside me, I knew he was Mika's father.

"We are so glad you came, Julius. Mika talked of you all the time. She
even
asked that her phone be buried with her. She said that in that way, you
could
still send her messages and you would always be with her."

I couldn't believe everything...My mind was in limbo.

"But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday."

"That can't possibly be. She passed away three days ago. She had been
suffering
from a heart disease since she was a child," said her father.

"But..." I couldn't find the words to say.

"She told us not to bother reaching you, "her mother said, still in
tears,"
she said you will come, and here you are.

Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently beside her,
staring at her lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend's face,
a
face I
knew I would never forget while I was still alive.

After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel she had told
me
she
went everyday.

Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed: "U
taught me
how 2 care; u taught me how 2 b kind; u shwd me how 2 lyk som; u
shwd me how 2 luv; but ders 1 thing u didnt teach me & it hurts mor - u
didnt
teach me how 2 let go. I LOVE YOU"

I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn't be able to hold her
CP
again,
I knew in my heart she would get my message. I never expected a
reply, yet as my phone beeped again, I felt a shiver down my spine.
The sender's number did not appear on the screen, and tears rolled down
my
cheeks as I read the message.

"Let go of d hand of d prson u love, but dnt let go of God's hand. 4 if
u
hold 2
his hand. He may b holding d prson u love n d ader hand 2 let u hold
each
other
again
"I will never forget you, Mikaella and I will never let go..." I vowed
to
her
and to myself as I left the church.

Then just before I exit the gate, someone in a hurry approach and grab
my
celphone!

LOVE IS forever.

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 10:11 PM

Basahin at Namnamin Natin
Genre: Love, Angst
Source: http://www.abante.com.ph/issue/oct11/leisure_xx.htm

Pagbigyan natin ang e-mail ng isang kaibigan. Ipinadala ito sa kanya ng kung sinuman at in-e-mail naman niya sa akin. Maganda ang ibig iparating kaya’t halina at namnamin natin.

My husband is an Engineer by profession. I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.

My husband is my complete opposite. His lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me: “What can I do to change your mind?” Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

“Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”

He said: “I will give you your answer tomorrow.” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes

“My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further.”

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. “When you use the computer you always mess up the software programs and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help restore the programs.

“You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city.

“I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your ‘good friend’ approaches. Every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

“You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

“You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help clip your nails, and help remove those annoying white hairs.

“So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face.

“Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do. I could not pick that flower yet, and die.”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting and as I continue on reading...

“Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk.”

I rushed to pull open the door and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands the milk bottle and loaf of bread.

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone.

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms. Even very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the most dull and boring form. Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship.

Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that’s our life.

Love, not words win arguments!
posted by Mr. Grandiers at 10:07 PM

The Big Change!

Genre: Humor, Romance 0_o
Source: "Ella" meowth02@edsamail.com.ph

They'd known each other since school days and had since become
> the best of friends. They shared everything and anything and spent
> lots of time together in and after school. But...the friendship
> never developed into anything deeper.
>
> Diane kept a secret...her admiration and love for Jack. She
> has her reasons for keeping it a secret. FEAR. Fear of rejection...
> fear that he might not feel the same... fear that he might not
> want to be her best friend anymore... fear of losing someone that she
> could always find comfort in. At least if she kept her feelings to
> herself she would still be able to spend time with him... and
> hopefully, he would be the one to tell her how he felt towards her.
>
> Time passed and soon...school was over. Jack and Diane
> went separate ways. Jack continued his studies overseas while
> Diane got herself a job. They still kept in touch though...penned
> letters, sent each other photographs and mailed each other gifts. Diane
> longed for Jack to be back.
>
>
> She decided that she would tell him her feelings once he got
> back. And then...out of the blue...the mails from Jack stopped
> coming. Diane wrote to him, but there was never a reply. Where was he?
> What happened? Lots of questions ran through her mind...
>
>
> Two years passed and Diane was still hopeful that Jack would
> come back...or at least send her a note. And then her prayers were
> answered.
>
> One mid-August day, she received a note from Jack...it said:
> "Diane, I have a surprise for you. I'm flying over. Meet me at the
> airport. My flight comes in at 4 p.m. on Saturday. I can't wait to
> see you again Diane! There's something I need to tell you, something
> I've been keeping all this time... Love n Kisses Jack"
>
> Diane's fingers shook as she read the note. Her heart soared.
> Diane was thrilled. Love and kisses...it meant a lot for a lady who
> had waited so long for those words. She was ecstatic.
>
>
> The day arrived, Diane waited anxiously for Jack. She had slipped
> into her best dress and did her best to look as pretty as she
> could. She looked around but Jack was nowhere in sight. She waited
> and waited, wondering what she would say to Jack when he got
> there, what their meeting would be like. Would there be love in his
> eyes? Would there be longing bred from years of separation and
> hiding each others' feelings? Oh how she longed to see him!
>
>
> How she longed to throw her arms around him and tell him she
> was a fool to ever let him go without ever telling him how she
> felt. She was certain Jack felt it too.
>
>
> There was always a certain magic about them when they were
> together. Then...a lady in a sexy tight blue dress approached her.
> She had a very concerned look on her face, "Hi! I'm Lyn, a friend
> of Jack. Are u Diane?" she asked. Diane just nodded her head.
> "I'm afraid I ... I have bad news for you...Jack is not coming...he
> won't be coming back anymore," said the lady, placing a hand on Diane's
> shoulder.
>
> Diane shook her head in confusion. She felt her heart constrict.
> What could possibly have happened?? Diane felt an overwhelming
> fear inside her. Her hands turned cold. Her voice shook as she
> asked: "Where ---- where's Jack? What happened to him???
> Please tell me..."
>
>
> Diane begged the lady...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The lady looked intently at Diane...and then
> .....she gave Diane a nudge on the shoulder and said,
>
>
>
> "Hoy gaga...its me...Jack... Jaquilyn!!!
> Don't you recognize me, honey??
> ...Am I pretty now?
> ...nyek!

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 10:02 PM

The Big Change!

Genre: Humor, Romance 0_o
Source: "Ella" meowth02@edsamail.com.ph

The Big Change

They'd known each other since school days and had since become
> the best of friends. They shared everything and anything and spent
> lots of time together in and after school. But...the friendship
> never developed into anything deeper.
>
> Diane kept a secret...her admiration and love for Jack. She
> has her reasons for keeping it a secret. FEAR. Fear of rejection...
> fear that he might not feel the same... fear that he might not
> want to be her best friend anymore... fear of losing someone that she
> could always find comfort in. At least if she kept her feelings to
> herself she would still be able to spend time with him... and
> hopefully, he would be the one to tell her how he felt towards her.
>
> Time passed and soon...school was over. Jack and Diane
> went separate ways. Jack continued his studies overseas while
> Diane got herself a job. They still kept in touch though...penned
> letters, sent each other photographs and mailed each other gifts. Diane
> longed for Jack to be back.
>
>
> She decided that she would tell him her feelings once he got
> back. And then...out of the blue...the mails from Jack stopped
> coming. Diane wrote to him, but there was never a reply. Where was he?
> What happened? Lots of questions ran through her mind...
>
>
> Two years passed and Diane was still hopeful that Jack would
> come back...or at least send her a note. And then her prayers were
> answered.
>
> One mid-August day, she received a note from Jack...it said:
> "Diane, I have a surprise for you. I'm flying over. Meet me at the
> airport. My flight comes in at 4 p.m. on Saturday. I can't wait to
> see you again Diane! There's something I need to tell you, something
> I've been keeping all this time... Love n Kisses Jack"
>
> Diane's fingers shook as she read the note. Her heart soared.
> Diane was thrilled. Love and kisses...it meant a lot for a lady who
> had waited so long for those words. She was ecstatic.
>
>
> The day arrived, Diane waited anxiously for Jack. She had slipped
> into her best dress and did her best to look as pretty as she
> could. She looked around but Jack was nowhere in sight. She waited
> and waited, wondering what she would say to Jack when he got
> there, what their meeting would be like. Would there be love in his
> eyes? Would there be longing bred from years of separation and
> hiding each others' feelings? Oh how she longed to see him!
>
>
> How she longed to throw her arms around him and tell him she
> was a fool to ever let him go without ever telling him how she
> felt. She was certain Jack felt it too.
>
>
> There was always a certain magic about them when they were
> together. Then...a lady in a sexy tight blue dress approached her.
> She had a very concerned look on her face, "Hi! I'm Lyn, a friend
> of Jack. Are u Diane?" she asked. Diane just nodded her head.
> "I'm afraid I ... I have bad news for you...Jack is not coming...he
> won't be coming back anymore," said the lady, placing a hand on Diane's
> shoulder.
>
> Diane shook her head in confusion. She felt her heart constrict.
> What could possibly have happened?? Diane felt an overwhelming
> fear inside her. Her hands turned cold. Her voice shook as she
> asked: "Where ---- where's Jack? What happened to him???
> Please tell me..."
>
>
> Diane begged the lady...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The lady looked intently at Diane...and then
> .....she gave Diane a nudge on the shoulder and said,
>
>
>
> "Hoy gaga...its me...Jack... Jaquilyn!!!
> Don't you recognize me, honey??
> ...Am I pretty now?
> ...nyek!

posted by Mr. Grandiers at 10:02 PM